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How Is It Possible?

Today, after working for a while, I laid down and one of the warmest feelings I’ve ever felt washed over me.
It was so strange because I’ve never felt that kind of spiritual heat so intensely before.
It’s never happened.

For some reason or another I had to release my feelings with an image to receive the kind of warmth I experienced in that moment.
I don’t know if it will ever be able to be replicated again.
And like many other things in life, I’m not sure how much it matters.
It happened. It felt very good. And I am very thankful for the intensity of the warmth I felt. It almost scorched me. For a minute there I was afraid; feeling hotter than mercury.

And I ask myself “How is it possible?”
And sometimes I slam my fist down and say “No, it’s not possible!”
It is not possible.
And I begin to feel my head boil while being incensed with untameable rage.

I don’t want any of this.
This constant flow of kinetic crap just keeps on flowing through the area below my sternum.

The ache does not go away. The pain returns and dissipates. The longing remains.
I’m trying to hold onto to you the best way I know how.

You know we’ll breathe this fire a mile high into that night sky,

Matthew R. Polkinghorne

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