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Can I Help You With Something Sir?

This phrase echoing through my eardrums as I analyzed the voice tone of the gentleman serving behind the meat counter. He uttered this phrase with only the slightest of sarcasm. It brought the tiniest smile to the corner of my mouth. I knew he was playing with me. And he wanted to see if I’d detect his slight utterance of sarcasm.

In short, the ‘Can I Help You With Something Sir’ was easily translatable as ‘Ok sir, what the F*** can I get for you this time?’ But he communicated the secondary message in a very funny way and I respect him for it. We both know the day by day routine can be a huge pain in the ass and he was putting his clever spin on it. Good for him.

By the time he handed me the packaged up hamburgers a huge smile was written across his face. He knew I detected it and we didn’t have to say anything about it. We both had an understanding and that was enough for both of us.

Beats me why he’s working behind the meat counter. I can tell he’s as funny as all hell. He’s gotta be doing some kind of part time comedy gig on the side – I just know it. And that’s one thing I really pride myself on; noticing the rare and unique qualities of fellow people. Everyone’s got something special about them and I love it when I am finally able to put my finger on it.

Just for once I’d appreciate it if one of the guys behind the meat counter would politely ask me “What the F*** can I get for you this time sir?” It would make my day. I think it would make everyone’s day. If the guy behind the meat counter wants to say this to me I’m all good for it. I’m the guy with the oversized lips, button nose, and abnormally small ears (for a male).

Incidentally, the abnormality in size and shape of my facial features is why some people think I go the other way. Just so you know. In case you didn’t.

It’s all good though. It’s a common misperception. Just like it is a common misperception that gold is a safe haven in a volatile and unstable equities market.

My main point to all this yammering!?

Can I help you with something Sir?

Matthew Polkinghorne

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