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Nip Conflict In The Bud & Equalize Emotionally Imbalanced Relationships

Revenge is bad. Nothing good comes from it, only intensely charged feelings, shattered finances, and a heaping mess of problems. Any expression of revenge represents the worst side of any human being. Revenge, strange as it may sound, is expressed when a human mind is at its weakest and most desperate state or point.  

                As it applies to relationships between human beings, revenge it focused on another individual or group when emotional imbalance (however extreme it may be) is perceived or experienced by one person or one group of people. In essence, one person or one group acts on another based on the culmination of emotional transactions within the relationship. While revenge can be largely centered around how money changes hands, we will keep our focus on emotional imbalances and how to neutralize them or equalize them by nipping conflict in the bud and thereby averting interpersonal disasters.  

                Let’s say you are considerably unhappy with how a relationship is progressing with another human being. So unhappy and frustrated, in fact, that you are feeling feelings of revenge bubbling and circulating through your neural circuitry. You have had it with a certain individual and are ready for a heated conflict of gargantuan proportions, one that will have the scent of revenge poignantly wafting from the brim of your mouth as you utter out every last despicable syllable of hate.

                But wait…need you act like such a gruesome beast even if you feel it to be justified? Is there not a better way for you to resolve interpersonal conflict without having both of your eyes go flush red while plunging off the deep end? Certainly, as civilized creatures, there must be a better way to equalize emotionally imbalanced relationships without resorting to desperate revenge tactics, no?

                Yes, there certainly is a better way. It is called – nipping conflict in the bud to equalize and restore emotional balance in a relationship before it gets out of hand or reaches a point of no return. The simplest way to equalize emotional imbalance in relationships is to make self-assertive statements about how you are feeling to a person whom you feel is causing you some form of internal distress.

                For example, let’s say you are completely fed up with a person who likes to use the cowardly form of communication known as indirect communication. Instead of tolerating this meek behavior, it is simpler to make a direct statement to the person (i.e. – if there is something you want to say to me, have the strength and courage to look me in the eye and tell me what is on your mind). People have a tendency to have messengers convey their true feelings for them. This kind of emotionally evasive practice creates no value and muddles your personal and professional image.

                When dealing with a person who talks non-stop, not making room for anyone else to speak, an excellent self-assertive statement may be – please stop talking, take a breath, and let others contribute their thoughts to the discussion.

                There are many other human behaviors that can easily create emotional imbalance in a relationship. Identically, there are as many self-assertive statements to counteract emotional imbalances in a relationship. Whenever you feel as if an interpersonal relationship is becoming emotionally inequitable, nip it in the bud and remember that self-assertive statements (face-to-face or through electronic communication) are an excellent way to equalize and/or neutralize disquieting personal affect that so often accompanies an emotionally imbalanced human relationship.  

                You owe it to yourself to feel balance in your feelings. Orate self-assertive statements.

                What about you? Do you feel as if many of your relationships are emotionally out of whack? How do you attempt to equalize or neutralize such relationships? Are you nipping conflict in the bud? Or are you letting everything fester inside until the internal state of revenge turn your eyes a volcanic red?

                Equalize. Neutralize. Do your best to oust any internal fury associated with revenge, nip conflict in the bud, and successfully restore and moderate feelings of personal balance.

Drop me a line if you find the time,

Matthew Polkinghorne

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