Home > Uncategorized > Kissy, Kissy, Kissy: Weed Out The Rump-Smoochers To Make The Big Bucks

Kissy, Kissy, Kissy: Weed Out The Rump-Smoochers To Make The Big Bucks

Sycophancy and rump-smooching are at an all-time high. Everywhere you turn, someone is snuggling up to somebody else’s derriere and planting big wet ones. The presence of such nauseatingly noxious behavior is all around us – in the family, at the office, and as close as to the one you say goodnight to just before you noggin lands on the pillow, ready to count sheep.

                And while this type of behavior may be all fine and dandy (mostly because it keeps people’s egos healthy, not overblown by any means – yeah right), it will, without a doubt, dilute and weaken creative thinking and initiative, thereby moving away from the ultimate goal of attaining the ‘prize’. As such, let’s set our sights on how to better identify rump-smooching behavior that may be doing more harm than good. Keep a keen eye on the following behaviors, it may save you giant money bags of jangling coin in the long-term. Let’s have a peek-a-boo;

I) Big, Big Smiles – yes, I am afraid it is true, big-big smiles are the devil in disguise. While they may make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside (feel really good about yourself), they will eventually turn your business upside down and have you pull your empty, lint-filled pockets out of your trousers as your eyebrows raise toward the sky at forty-five degree angles. Now and again, big-big smiles are just fine. But, be mindful of the frequency in which you are on the receiving end of big-big smiles. If it’s too much, especially from one person, don’t be shy in shooting back a scowl or grimace to that same person. It will keep them in check and help make sure their gums do not become dry and sore.

II) Edge-of-the-Seat Keeners – watch out for the people who look like they may leap at you like a leopard frog or pounce on you like a pit bull. While you may feel enamored by their positive looks and sickening enthusiasm, don’t be surprised if romantic gazes soon follow. When people have a drunk look in their eye they are probably drunk. But, a drunk look is just another indicator, perhaps caveat, of a rump-smoocher sitting on the edge of their seat waiting to get the big call to go in the game. Remember, people who sit on the edge of their seat for prolonged periods of time are likely to slip and bang their buttocks on the ground – it’s just the natural laws of gravity. And, when the natural laws of gravity take over, don’t be surprised if a big-big smile is, all of the sudden, missing. Bottom line? Enthusiasm is excellent, positivity is great, but you have to wonder what the heck is going on if keenness is continually being projected in your direction.

III) Unexpected Rubbing, Massaging or Touching – the calling card of the one who smooches rumps, excessive touching, rubbing and massaging should raise suspicion in your mind. I mean, it’s O.K. in the dugout before one of your teammates is about to step up to the plate and drive the winning run home, but if a person wants to be fondled that much, they’ll likely consult a professional masseuse or holler out to their significant other and plead for some kind of oily rubdown. A pat on the back is fine. So is a heartfelt hug. Just be mindful of individuals that always seem to be groping and probing you – both psychologically and physically.

                Relationships are very important. Camaraderie is imperative. Rump-smooching is suspect. Heed the gentle warnings associated with these 3 types of behavioral (interactive) cues mentioned above. By doing so you will build meaningful relationships, spark creativity, drive continuous results, and not delude yourself in a cesspool of grandiosity generated by the niceties of others. And, don’t forget to carefully weed out the rump smoochers. The big wet ones are nice, but come on, let’s face it, you don’t want to live in a false reality while being drenched in drool.  

Matthew Polkinghorne

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