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Just Trying To Figure Out Life

A colleague once uttered this to me in passing. I think I asked “How are you?” And as the title states he replied “Just trying to figure out life Matt”. It made me think about his circumstances. He has 3 kids with 3 different partners and it might be fair to state that his life has evolved as somewhat complicated.

When we can’t settle down with one person for a very long period of time or for the rest of our life it often has to do with us. There is something unresolved in our being or sometimes an unresolved emotional conflict with one or both of our parents that may or may not have been passed down from our grandparents or great-grandparents and further beyond as you can imagine. When we refuse to address that which is bothering us we have this nasty way or tendency to transfer it to those closest to us and we never really figure it out for ourselves. We shift or transfer the blame and cannot see it the other person’s way. I’m not saying that your significant other is never wrong because they are; it’s just ingrained patterns of behavior emerge from our being and we get used to communicating in a certain way that has worked for us but may not necessarily be healthy especially for the ears of your partner.

And so I go back to his response “Just trying to figure out life”. Is it a cry for help? Does he just need to express himself and be heard? Is he trying to convey a message to me and just needs me to listen? Interesting questions to postulate and entertain I suppose.

And without thinking about it too hard and for too long I guess in a lot of ways;

I am “Just trying to figure out life too” and it may be fair to say that this quotation would make him wise even if I don’t see him as wise yet. But who am I to judge? Who or what makes me wise?

No one.
No thing.

It’d be great to hear from you,

Matthew R. Polkinghorne
289-208-2241

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