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I Want More Life

When I see my daughter; when I see her face and see her smile I can’t help but say in my head that “I want more life”. When I see the way she is changing from the last time I saw her and I see her mannerisms I can’t help but say in my head that “I want more life”.

And then every once in a while (likely on at least a monthly basis), I feel a fluttering in my chest that definitely feels like an arrhythmia and I again think that “I want more life”. There are so many uncertainties in life and we never know what is around the next corner that it is hard to not find a feeling of gratefulness and longing for more.

I work very hard at my job and money is not easy to come by so when I go out to a fine establishment for food and drink I get the feeling that I appreciate and enjoy the service and that I want more of this life even if it is monotonous and sometimes mundane.

Meaningful interactions are not necessarily plentiful and there are many people out there that just don’t want to talk including myself. So I try to squeeze every little drop out of life when I can. I think it is up to me to get as much out of life as I can even if I feel discouraged, shunned, unappreciated, taken for granted and worth about as much as a piece of dog kibble.

Somehow, though, I still want more life. If I wake up tomorrow morning, I am going to push myself out of bed with a mild grunt and start my day the best way I know how. I am going to execute actions that will propel me forward and push me through the day. Maybe someone will brighten my day with a funny joke or a kind word. We just don’t know what will gyrate us as we go about our day. This can be the beauty. This can be the tragedy. We do the best with the cards we are dealt and we make the best of our hands.

But even after the last word is said and the next word is being written all I know is that “I want more life”.

Don’t you?

It’d be great to hear from you,

Matthew R. Polkinghorne

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