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I Think It’s The Innocence

June 9th, 2018 No comments

It must be our children’s beautiful smiles and warm eyes that melt our hearts. Yes, we remain protective but I think it sort of drops our guard a little bit. I know when I think of my daughter’s beautiful smile and big blue eyes it softens me and makes me feel like more of a human being than anything else. In this way, I think it’s the innocence that does it to us.

As we age and become older we somehow turn into these well-trained lying machines. At any cost, we learn to shield our feelings and never reveal who we really or actually are. No self-disclosure, no trust; just a zero-sum game where we slowly try to whittle or break each other down into a submissive position. That’s right, this ultimately means no sharing as well.

Unfortunately, as my thoughts unwind here, I see a sadistic world. Perhaps my perception is convoluted and I don’t see the world as it really is but for some reason(s) this is my sentiment. Maybe life experience has dealt me this hand and left me with this perception?! In a way, it doesn’t really matter – I am one in a sea of billions and my contribution is limited and may never be felt.

But I resolve to move forward believing that this life is one worth living.
I don’t know what is around the next corner and I see the importance of trying to be optimistic.
I look for the innocence; it softens me.

It’d be great to hear from you,

Matthew R. Polkinghorne
289-208-2241

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Forgiving

June 2nd, 2018 No comments

Forgiving is a tough one. We want so much to get back at the other person or parties and to declare that we are the winner and they are the loser. Win, win, win. We want so much to believe that we emerged victorious and on top and that no one else got the better of us.

But forgiving someone else? How do we do that?

I would suggest you start by focusing on the memory or image or words that hurt so much. Focus on that memory or image or words very intensely and try to cry through it. Cry as much as you, say as many derogatory things as you like (scream too), and feel the pain vibrate out through your stomach. It will likely feel unpleasant but it shouldn’t last too long and you will feel a sense of relief wash over you.

The painful memories may revisit you. If they do, let them build up a little bit until you feel a reasonable amount of internal tension. Acknowledge how the other person or parties wronged or slighted you, cry, let go and reach for forgiveness.

Aren’t you sick of being angry? I know I am. And I don’t discount how useful anger can be for propelling us forward. But forgiveness, sadness and being tearful can feel good. It can heal if only temporarily.

It’d be great to hear from you,

Matthew R. Polkinghorne
289-208-2241

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