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Try To Keep It As Positive As Possible Matthew

November 16th, 2012 No comments

You say that.

You once offered it as your advice to me. And I want so much to feel that way – positive. Sometimes it is so hard to feel that way in the midst of crowds and groups of people. They all band together don’t they. Lots of facial expressions. And we shouldn’t use the word ‘they’. And we shouldn’t use the word ‘should’ now should we? And we must do our best to use the word ‘We’. Because, really, it is ‘We’ isn’t it?

………………………

And you need to remind me again; why is it that I need to be positive? Nobody likes me and everyone hates me, right? Of course. There isn’t any other reality in store for me. And you get all perturbed when I don’t act in the manner you like and so you assemble all your soldiers to indirectly communicate on your behalf and it sickens me to the degree in which you are a coward. More yellow than the face of a raging alcoholic who has had his liver ravaged by insidious toxins.

It’s absolutely pathetic.

Positive? Are you kidding me? The whole world pollutes me with negativity. You should know that.

But there you are on stage, running your mouth like an imbecile. Droning on and on like the attention-seeking megalomaniac that you are (and always will be). You don’t know how lucky you are to earn a paycheck.

And there I go again; wandering down the road of non-positivity – lacing this entry with a barrage of offensive language and disgraceful communications(s). I can’t help it. I’m supersaturated and overloaded with psychological garbage/trash. The only way to tunnel out of this mess is to talk through it and use my hands as much as possible to create something or work toward a goal or an end.

We both know a morphine drip will just amplify the problem and bifurcate into an unneeded addiction. It’s not the right solution. But hey, who I am to talk or judge. One day I might need to take a hit of it to get myself through the torturous reality that has become my life. I know you know what I mean. There aren’t any secrets here. No surprises. Just straight talk and facts, Jack.

My level of knowledge would cripple your intellect in a New York minute. I kid you not. I probably already have more wisdom lines in my forehead than you do. And there’s nothing you can do about it except flex your forehead muscles in the mirror as repetitiously as possible each day until more wisdom lines appear as a result of the tireless exercise. I recommend 12 sets and 1000 reps per set each day. This means that 12,000 forehead flex reps per day may bring you on par with me as I work on forming the next line.

But your right. Less ego. Less about me and more about you; nitpicking every syllable of each word until socialism overruns our society in a chaotic frenzy.

Who am I to express my opinion?

I’ll try to keep it as positive as possible,

Matthew R. Polkinghorne

 

 

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Marilyn

November 10th, 2012 No comments

I remember you, Marilyn.

You arrived fashionably late for lunch and I was slightly annoyed. Maybe you were very busy that day, I don’t know. I was still a very young age at that time so I guess time was not yet a precious resource or commodity.

We had a nice lunch together, you ate a much healthier meal than I and preferred not to consume alcoholic beverages. A nice mix of roast beef, greens and and what not. A meal fit for a health conscious woman.

You talked about your family background and family life and what it was like to grow up in the one of the Great Lake States. Heck, you might as well have grown up in the Hinterlands of the Great White North. They all act the same as us in that state anyway. Friendly, warm, welcoming. A community of people all doing their best to work together and not freeze to death.

I remember you mentioning the biggest challenge you faced as a young woman was the fight to be heard and have a voice in the midst of a strong male presence. I’m not sure if you said that you had the be quieter than a mouse in such a family environment, but do remember you saying that you had to learn a ton of new skills to survive, keep your family alive and keep your family together during the toughest of times.

Times are foggy, but these are some of the words I remember you speaking.

You suggested, toward the end of our lunch, that I consider brushing up my computer technology skills at a local college. I never did enroll at that college for a computer technology course but rest assured I did take steps later in life to learn important computer skills, both hardware and software. And, I am certain that you did have an influence on my investing the necessary energy to learn some of those very important skills. In essence, you motivated me to focus on becoming a better and stronger self by laying down the gauntlet or issuing a challenge.

I don’t know how we said good-bye that day, yet remember walking out the door with positive feelings bouncing around in my head.

I remember you, Marilyn.

Matthew R. Polkinghorne

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